I hope you’re doing well? I’ve actually been in loads of pain with my jaw recently, I have TMJ disorder which is basically jaw joint/jaw muscle pain. It’s a little b**ch to be blunt, it even makes it hard to eat and sleep which are basically my two favourite things to do. But anyway that’s whats new with me, let’s move onto today’s post! Recently, I read an article linked on Facebook titled ‘Seven Prime Reasons Why Long Distance Relationships Don’t Work Out’. Before I even read it I knew it was likely written by someone who had never actually been in an LDR and that the points would make me annoyed but despite that I still decided to read it. Seeing as I haven’t done an LDR related post in a while I thought this was the perfect time to do one.
** Disclaimer:As always I’m talking from my own opinion on relationships and LDRs**
I figured it’d be best to work through each of the articles points and discuss. Let’s get into this! I’ll put what the article says in bold to make it easier.
1. Lack of trust between partners: Although trust is a basic requirement of any type of a relationship, LDRs tend to demand a lot more trust than the usual, short-distance ones. That’s because you don’t get to see your partner often, and so you need to be able to trust him or her without having to check up on your partner.
I just don’t feel this needed to be put in an article about LDR’s as it literally applies to every relationship. Even with the justification that LDR’s need more trust that short-distance ones I still think it’s irrelevant, also short-distance doesn’t mean you instantly trust them and will always know what your partner is up to so… yeah it’s a no from me on this one.
2. Cheating, of course!: It requires strong self-character to be able to take yourself through your moments of weakness and not cheat on your partner, no matter how much hard it might be. That said, it’s probably better to not enter an LDR if you already know you don’t have the kind of commitment it requires from you to make it work.
WHAT!? First of all why is the added ‘of course!’ even needed. No. You are no more likely to cheat in an LDR than in a short-distance relationship. I’m just saying you can get by with out the physical stuff if it is for someone you love – which is why people are in LDR’s, they’re not just for fun. Plus I’d like to add that in all relationships, regardless of distance it doesn’t require a ‘strong self-character’ not to cheat it’s just human decency. *eye rolls all round*
3. Distance leads to frustration, and that could lead to fights.: But that’s not a given thing. Just because the distance causes frustrations doesn’t mean that it will lead to fights, if only you’re careful about it. Fights are never good for any sort of relationship, and it’s important to take care not to let anything, even the distance, cause any.
At this point I’m about 80% sure this person’s never been in a serious relationship… Every couple will have arguments, FACT! I’ll admit that the distance does cause fights because there is more tension from being apart but even when together I’ll admit that Haydn and I argue. I’ll even go as far as to say that under some circumstances its good to fight (not physically of course) in order to release the tension. If something is going to cause a fight then you can’t simply ‘take care not the let anything cause any’ that’s really not how it works.
4. Not discussing the reasons behind the fights/disagreements: Blaming everything on the distance won’t help, because if the fights between the partners take place because of something other than distance, then they’ll have to work on that factor as soon as possible. LDRs often mask the true reason causing the fights between the partners, and that ultimately leads to them breaking up in the future.
This one is a little better than the rest but I still don’t agree with it. Considering all LDR couples usually do is chat as they can’t just sit and have a nice cuddle I’d argue that in many ways long-distance couples have better communication or find it easy to communicate than short-distance couples. I would say that not talking about an argument and letting everything slide would cause any couple to break up eventually.
5. When there is ‘no vision’ of a future where the two can finally get together: Looking into the future in which the two partners can live together in the same place helps a lot to get through the period of physical separation. And so, as is obvious, an LDR can only work if there is such a future to which the partners can look forward to.
Okay, I actually agree with this one… I do think that knowing what the end goal is and when/how it will be achievable is important. I’ll let them have this one but still 1/7 solid reasons is pretty bad.
6. When there’s nothing to talk about!: Yes, after months and months of calling, there comes a time when couples run out of topics and that’s when things get messy.
Na, new topics come up all the time. In 19 months Haydn and I have spoken on the phone/skype for at least an hour every day (bar a couple but we always text) and we’ve always got enough to say to each other so things don’t ‘get messy’.
7. Time-Zone differences: This is something that affects many couples who are boundaries apart and it requires huge sacrifices to manage and tackle this.
I can’t comment as we don;t have a time difference. Although I do chat with other LDR couples who have time differences and they’re doing great.
Basically this article is pointless. In reality, like any relationship, an LDR can break down due to just as many variables as close-distance relationships. There you have it guys a little rant that is essentially worthless but I still felt the need to share. If you’re in a long distance relationship (or just agree) then let me know below so I know I’m not just acting crazy. I’ll be uploading again next week so see you soon!