Relationships

Why Are LDR’s Judged? || Another Long Distance Relationship Rant

Hey guys,

I hope you’re doing well? Haydn left yesterday (as in to go home after our visit) and so I’m laid in bed feeling lonely. I thought I would talk about the way people can sometimes stereotype or perceive people in long distance relationship. I got this post from LDR Lottery blog so I’ll give credit to them and link there’s at the end. But for now let’s get into this!

I feel like I have to clarify the fact that even though long distance is tough I wouldn’t want it any other way.

When someone asks about your relationship and your answer is that it’s long distance you’ll probably get one of the following responses: A. ‘Wow… that must be hard’ B. ‘I could never do that’ or C. A questioning look of ‘why would you do that’. I suppose if your lucky you might get an ‘I’ve experienced long distance with my partner’… I’m still waiting to experience that, but you never know.

The issue (in my opinion) with telling people your in a long distance relationship is that people often don’t know how to react, so they say something obvious (A) or try to relate personally (B). The thing is, I don’t care how you react but please ask the questions you have rather than think it’s weird.

That sorta leads perfectly into the second thing I want to discuss. Why do people think ldr couples are ‘weird’?. I’ve already done a post on the ‘frequently asked questions’ I get regarding my ldr (I’ll link that at the end). So let’s focus on the ‘weird’ part.

Ldr Lottery suggest its because people assume it’s immature, and I agree. Skype first went live in 2003 and FaceTime didn’t start until 7 years later in 2010. Whilst these communication methods are now 14 and 7 years old that isn’t relatively long. Because of the time frame that Skype and FaceTime have been around it’s still mostly young people who use them as a regular, ‘normal’ form of communication. Therefore if video chatting is used primarily by youth, adults look onto these ‘virtual friendships’ as immature. This is potentially why long distance relationships get tagged immature; the technology that makes them so widely doable isn’t old enough to be intergrated as a society norm.

Maybe I’ve over thought it, but like I said this is another pointless rant… (p.s congrats if you’ve made it this far)

Relating back to my previous point, a lot of a long distance couples relationship is spent talking online and this means people perceive them as only being virtual relationships. The thing is, its harder to explain. If you have a friend that you FaceTime with regularly, is the relationship or friendship any different when you are video chatting versus in person? Chances are it isn’t. The same goes for long distance couples. Connections that we make online are real; real people with real feelings building real relationships. That’s why people living thousands of miles apart can say ‘I love her’ or those who have never met can say ‘I love him’. I’m not saying catfishing (pretending to be someone else online to trick people) isn’t a genuine thing, I’m saying that if your Skyping/FaceTiming someone (and you can physically see them) then there is no reason why the relationship you build with them in the ‘cyber world’ won’t transfer over to the ‘real world’ when you are together.

Finally, the one that I have the most experience with. The community of LDR couples on Instagram is HUGE! My account @211_miles is followed by nearly 700 people, most of whom are in their own LDRs, and way over half are other specific LDR accounts. In the past people have made comments about the account and honestly I’ve always just ignored it. But the accounts do get a lot of judgement. But as I said, it’s a community. I enjoy reading other peoples experiences of LDR and therefore follow other LDR couples. This isn’t any different to following beauty accounts if you love beauty, or a sports team if you love a particular sport. I guess this sort of fits the ‘cringe’ criteria as there are a lot of couple selfies and cute captions but you’re not obliged to follow them (or me) soo yeah… that’s all I’m saying on that front.

Okay I think my little rant is over, maybe it was interesting. Probably not… Either way I hope you enjoyed reading it. Enjoy some pictures of me and Haydn below. I’ll be back soon with the first Blogmas post of 2017!

Christmas L0g0

LINKS:
LDR Lottery Post: https://ldrlottery.wordpress.com/2017/11/16/why-being-in-a-ldr-is-not-the-same-as-having-a-platonic-love/
LDR FAQs Post: https://charliestarblogs.com/2017/07/30/long-distance-relationship-faq-charliestarblogs/

13 thoughts on “Why Are LDR’s Judged? || Another Long Distance Relationship Rant

  1. LDR are tough, I was in one for 4 1/2 years (bi-coastal) and while it didn’t work out, it had nothing to do with the distance. I 150% agree, the judgement I received from friends, family and strangers during that span was not only frustrating but hurtful. They treated the relationship as “less than” and that’s certainly not how I (or he) viewed things. I loved him no matter how many miles were between us and he prepped my heart for what was right around the corner! He and I are still friends (both happily in different relationships) to this day and I think that experience was incredibly instrumental in how I respond to stress and conflict in relationships! Great read! And such cute pictures! Thanks for sharing! xo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. hi hun.lovely blog I used to be in a ldr with my current bf I moved to be near him and its the bets desion I ever made. I still visit home. see my loved ones but have made some amzing friends and family threw him. it was scary but It was the best desion ive ever made.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amazing post, Charlie 🙂 I totally agree with you about that ppl have the stereotype of LDRs for sure! Instead of asking further question about the relationship, their first reaction “Huh? Why? I don’t think will least for long…” Anyway, really like how you describe and explain the ppl judge the LDRs. I recently start a new blog, other than LDR, we’re also interracial couples. Please follow us and give us some feedback! Cuz you’re a fatanstic blogger! Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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