I hope you’re doing well? It’s been so long since I uploaded the first LDR (Long Distance Relationship) advice post, in fact it was back in May 2017. I thought that I would build on my first post and give you something that’s a little more updated. Some of the points I’m making will be the same as in the first but I figured they were important ones to include. Enough of the intro – let’s get into this!
I’m sure most of you reading this are in your own LDR or might be considering one. It seems most people like to highlight the differences between long distance and close distance relationships, granted there are a few major attributes that make this very true, however in many ways the fundamentals and what is needed to make the relationship work is the same across both. What I mean by this is that with a few exceptions your attitude towards your LDR should be the same as that to any other type of romantic relationship.
What works for me might not work for you but here are the main things I consider to be important in the overall ‘maintenance’ of my relationship with Haydn.
- I said it in my first advice post and I’ll say it again COMMUNICATION. When your apart from someone, sometimes by literal continents, you have to be effective communicators. Even if you know your partner really well and they know you really well sometimes emotion, tone or vibe is lost over digital communication. Because of this I think it is important that you straight with your partner and don’t talk in codes, tell them how you are feeling and why – even if they can’t help you keeping them in the loop will benefit you both as well as your relationship together.
- In every relationship you will have expectations from your boyfriend/girlfriend but when you throw long distance into that I think it’s even more important to have Realistic Expectations of yourself, each other and the relationship overall. For example, if money is an obstacle when planning visits try to be realistic about how often you can actually see each other rather than disappoint when months go by and you are still apart.
- Try to keep things Positive when possible. I can guarantee you that at one point or another you’ll feel overwhelmed by the distance and might even think it not worthwhile. When this happens you probably won’t be positive let’s be real. What I really mean is that you don’t always need to complain about how long it is until you see each other or vent about how much you miss your love – chances are your partner is feeling the same. Turn that positive by counting down the days you have left until your next visit, or enjoy each others company with activities that are encouraging like planning your next visit.
- Have an End Goal. I totally respect that for some LDR couples this one will be impossible, but in my own experience talking about that ‘one day’ of closing the distance really helped when it felt tougher. Even if you don’t know when, or how the distance will be closed this is usually the end goal for LDR couples so it’s nice to talk about. If you aren’t quite ready to talk about that you can have other ‘one days’ to fantasize about like your first/next meeting, a holiday or special date together.
- Some LDR couples have the tendency is to make it different but in reality It’s A Normal Relationship. Being loyal, honest, jealous, independent, codependent are all normal functions of any relationship and just because you’re miles away from each other doesn’t mean these will be any different. Of course for many reasons it isn’t typical and there are some emotions that won’t be common in a close distance relationship. However, I truly believe that in many circumstances it works better to treat the relationship as ‘typical’. I guess this is because in my own experience finding the balance of communication, establishing boundaries and making it work has just happened naturally.
I hope you guys found some of these tips useful or just interesting to read someone else’s opinion. I’m hoping to grow my blog a lot this year so if you aren’t yet following please be sure to hit the follow blog button which will either be at the side (if on PC) or below (if on mobile/tablet). You don’t even have to be a WordPress member – you can follow me using your email!
First edition of this post – HERE