I hope you’re doing well? My blogs been pretty dormant for a few weeks now due to it being exam season – I never thought I’d feel this overwhelmed by it all! Before jumping back into my revision I thought I’d do a quick LDR related upload; right now (6th June) ITS ONE FRICKING MONTH UNTIL WE CLOSE THE DISTANCE!
Obviously I’m very excited but honestly over the last few months I’ve felt pretty much every emotion when its come to organising the move. For a little post today I thought I’d talk about what seems to be the less discussed side of moving as well as answer some FAQ’s I’ve been getting.
Being in the LDR community on IG (@211_miles go follow) means that over the course of our relationship Haydn and I have watched several couples close the distance. Now it’s our turn and what I’ve noticed is that the more negative emotions aren’t openly discussed. Instead, it seems to be romanticised and of course it’s completely up to you what aspects you want to share publicly, but for me personally I wanted to be more transparent about what I’ve felt during this process.
When we first started to look at flats it was exciting, it was new and we’d never done it before but gradually it become harder because of the volume of choice we had. How were we suppose to know what to look for? Making a decision was even harder for me because I knew it would be Haydn going to see the flats so I’d have to completely trust his judgement. What I learnt during this process was that instead of looking for everything we could possibly want it was more beneficial to pick things we completely prioritsed and then find something that suited us. For me, that meant either a big lounge or second bedroom, so my family can easily come up and stay over and a bath just because I love to bathe. Haydn wanted space for us to put two desks in different rooms so we’d both have private work space as well as a modern interior. Once we’d narrowed done our options Haydn arranged visits to the flats we liked most. It was the third flat, which Haydn saw that we fell in love with because really it had everything.
The process of paper work was actually quite straight forward, as our agency made it straight forward and explained everything as we went through. Plus we’d looked into agency fees before hand so the cost of paper work wasn’t a shock to us. In fact, building on that, we actually budgeted basically everything we’d need before moving out as well as what our monthly spends so we would be to see exactly what we could afford – Haydn’s accountancy job role means he’s actually great at spreadsheet budgeting.
That’s basically where we are up to right now in terms of the process of moving in together. Since sorting all that I’ve just had anxiety about being away from my mum for the first time, worries about how my relationship with Haydn might change after we move in and then stress of organising the move process and finding furniture we can afford (so far Facebook Marketplace has been an absolute legend!).
Just to round the post of I’ll add in some questions I’ve been asked a lot about moving in together.
Q: Who is moving where when you close the distance and why did you make that decision?
A: We’ve always discussed closing the distance and knew that it would be most convenient once I’ve finished my Alevels because being in Bournemouth sort of comes to a natural close and I have no further commitments here. As Haydn already works full time in Leeds and has a career set up there it made more sense for me to move up and join him. Living costs are also a lot lower than in the south so we’d get more for our money.
Q: What are you going to be doing when you close the distance?
A: I’ll be starting at University in September. I’m hoping that my student loans will cover living costs so I don’t need to take up a part time job as well. But depending on that I may also be working part time. Over the Summer we’ve got a holiday booked with Haydn’s family, I’ll be working on my blog, learn how to do all the “home” things like cooking and cleaning and just chilling out.
Q: How will you be affording to live?
A: I feel like I indirectly covered this but basically Haydn has a full time wage and I have a student maintenance loan so together we’ll be able to afford it. Over the summer we’ll be living off our savings. Prior to moving in together we’ve been saving up (I’ve had two part time jobs over the last couple of years) so we’ve got money for first months rent, bills, furniture and anything else that crops up.
Okay I think that just about briefly covers everything I wanted it to! As always if you have any LDR related questions you can send me and email using the CONTACT & PR page or message me over on Instagram @211_Miles. Sorry about the lack of posts recently it will be back to normal very soon!